Blog life · health & wellness · lifestyle · mental health

The Purge Urge

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The time has come, folks.  It’s time to decide what to do with my wedding gown.  It’s yellowed, it’s worn on the train, I never had it cleaned and it’s over twenty years old.

What is the accepted thing one does with ones wedding gown after divorce?  When have I ever done whats accepted?

So, I did what most normal people do, I consulted the great oracle Google.  Here’s what the oracle suggested:

  • Save the gown for my daughter or future daughter in law
  • Sell it
  • Donate it
  • Wreck it
  • Toss it

First of all, my daughter doesn’t want it, and frankly, I don’t want to see her in it.  My son, if he ever gets married will likely marry someone as head strong as his Mama and she will want her own style gown, or no gown at all (and I don’t mean nekkid).

I could post it online for sale, but I can’t see someone wanting an old yellowed dress with twenty-two year old Champaign stains on the train, but it might be the front-runner in this decision making process.  Then I think about hanging onto it for another few days or weeks while it is considered by potential buyers and I cringe.  I really want this thing out of my environment soon….like make-it-snappy soon.

The oracle also had several suggestions for potential donation.  There are military wives who are in desperate need of dresses, or there are places who will take donated wedding gowns and turn them into Angel Gowns for stillborn babies.  I’m still mulling that one over.

Very soon after I announced my divorce, I had a friend who is a photographer offer to do a Wreck The Dress photo shoot and at the time, I was adamantly against the idea.  I wasn’t ready for that step yet.  I was still kind of in love with the story of us, even though I was so angry and hurt at the same time.  Now, however….I could definitely see myself getting some joy out of the destruction of this artifact of my dead relationship.

Lastly, I could toss it.  Throw it out in the dumpster and be done with it.  While that sounds appealing I just don’t think I can be that wasteful.  My mom bought me that gown, after all.  While my marriage is over now, we had some good and happy years in the beginning and I simply don’t want to throw this beautiful beaded fabric away in the trash when it could be repurposed, reused or upcycled in some way.

So I’ve ruled out throwing it away and saving it for my kids.  That leaves Wreck it, Donate it or sell it.  I guess I could give it away free on Craigslist, but for some reason, that feels kind of skeezy and gross.

I just don’t know what to do.  I want it out of my life, but I want little to no contact with its next owner.  I guess that leaves one option.  Donate.

Then my brain starts up with the “but you could make some extra cash! Sell it!” and my heart answers with “Screw that! Get it out of here!”

Someone tell me what I should do!!!!

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