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Worthy?

worthy

It’s happening.  I’m auctioning my wedding ring.

Now before you go thinking I’m having financial difficulties, I’m fine.  I mean, we can all use some extra money for things like camera equipment, birding trips, cruises, drink packages for said cruises and things like that, amiright?

No, this is just because I’m ready for this last connection to my marriage to be out of my life.  I’ve asked both the kids, they don’t want the ring.  Frankly, I’m glad they don’t want the ring.  In my opinion that thing has some bad juju.  No one needs that in their life.

I just don’t want to see it in my jewelry box anymore.

I’ve seen ads for Worthy and I’ve even signed up for their service before, about six months ago when I thought about ditching the ring.  I just couldn’t pull the trigger then.  I wasn’t ready.  Now I am.  So I hit them up this morning and by this afternoon I had a phone conversation with an agent and got all the shipping documents emailed to me and I’m prepared to send the ring off to them tomorrow.

Whew!  I strangely do not have any real strong emotions about selling the ring.  I was discussing the ring and the auction with a friend today and she said I might feel different if it had been a happy and healthy marriage…which it was not, so that may be why I’m not having stronger feelings about it.  Or it could just be that I’m ready.

It’s been a little less than a year and a half since the marriage ended.  It’s hard to believe it’s been that long.  November 2016 seems like a lifetime ago.  Well, it was a lifetime ago when you figure I was a different person then.

I’m going to chalk getting rid of the ring as a move towards acceptance.  One step closer to moving on with my life, and maybe release the last of the anger I have towards the ex.

I also think I should write him a letter.  Nothing that I would mail.  Just a letter in my journal or maybe on some of my stationary and get all my feelings out there.  That’s how I process difficult feelings, I write them.  Oh wait, you probably do know that if you follow this blog.  Online diary, raw, honest feelings and all that.

I work with victim’s of violent crime every day at work, and some of the cases I work are really hard to process.  A lot involve children, young adults and women being victimized. There are often some strong feelings that I don’t get a chance to express to them.  So I write them letters that I never mail.  I have a box in my closet of letters I’ve written my victims so I can let go of the secondary trauma that working with them can create.  It’s my way of coping.  So writing the ex a letter is probably exactly what I need to be doing.

I took a picture of the ring before I packaged it.  The last picture I’ll ever take with it in my hands.  I even tried it on one more time.  I was surprised there were zero feelings associated with the wearing of the wedding band I wore for over twenty years.  There just wasn’t.  It’s just a piece of metal with a compressed piece of carbon in the middle. Nothing more, nothing less.  The photo didn’t come out very clear because the camera on my phone was focused on my pretty nail polish instead of the ring, but I feel I’d be remiss if I didn’t include a photo of it here.

ring

So let’s all take a moment and say goodbye to this last connection to the past that was full of lies, deception, criminal activity, addiction and dysfunction.  Let’s sever the last cord connecting me with that time of life.

With the ring gone, I can take yet another step into the sunlight of freedom and new beginnings.  Letting the ring go will create another open space to be filled with more beautiful and happy things.

It really doesn’t even matter how much money I make from the ring.  Well, it matters a little bit.  I’ve got my first ever cruise scheduled for later this year and Mama needs to spring for that drink package!

Wish me luck and a fruitful auction!

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