I noticed this morning that the Single and Selfish Facebook page had a lot of notifications. When I looked I saw that a friend of mine had gone on a reading binge of my blog and can I just tell you how deliciously happy that made me?
Have you noticed that everyone has a blog these days? Everyone seems to be writing. Everyone has something to share and something to say. I. Love. It. I have so many insightful friends and family who have blogs on just about everything, so to have some of you take the time to read mine is pretty exciting and I just have to say thanks.
This blog started out as an angry divorced womans verbal diarrhea. I needed a place to vent and express my pain and anger. I was raw and my insides were on the outside, every single nerve ending exposed. It was not pretty and I don’t wish it on my worst enemy – not that I have many enemies, if any, but if I did, I wouldn’t wish it on them.
I wrote something and used the hashtag #ProjectHappy and I got really excited about it. Project Happy has become the motto of my life. If it doesn’t make me happy, it doesn’t happen. If someone asks me if I want to do something and I don’t want to, I’m comfortable saying no. That’s kinda new for me.
I’ve been a people pleaser all my life and have put others happiness before my own. We do that as young women, as mothers, as wives. We put ourselves last because it’s just easier than justifying why we want to put ourselves first.
Sidenote: it sucks that we have to justify taking care of ourselves and putting ourselves first for a few minutes. If you want to lock yourself in the bathroom for an hour when your second shift comes home, to take a bath and do a charcoal face mask, you shouldn’t have to explain why you need that alone time. Take the damn bath.
In the last couple of months, I have finally reached the middle of the bed milestone. I no longer stick to what has always been my side. I have branched out into the center of the bed zone and frankly, it’s fantastic.
I remember that scene in the movie It’s Complicated where Meryl Streep is explaining to Alec Baldwin how the middle of the bed took time to be conquered but once she did, it was the best thing ever and she refused to give it up. So even after their…ahem….time together, she kicked him out so she could have her center spot. I totally get that now.
Things are changing fast right now. I’m growing and changing, my daughter is entering the work force and soon will likely be thinking about leaving home. I’m in the winter of my professional life, I will be eligible for retirement in about four years and I am more comfortable in my own skin than ever before in my life.
Did I mention my birthday is next week? I’m going to be 47 and I’m loving it. My stress level is manageable, my friendships are flourishing, my creative life is more fruitful than ever, my dog is on a regular poop schedule and my grocery store offers curb side pickup.
Really, Project Happy is really happening for me right now.