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VD is upon us….again.

Cactus Heart

Oh Valentine’s Day.  Here you are again – you little Bastard.  You may remember the photo above from a post from January of last year.  It spoke to me then because it was a metaphor for my heart.  My tender, fragile heart surrounded in spikes to keep everyone out to ensure I wouldn’t get hurt again.  What a difference a year makes.

If I know the ODC (Online Divorced Community) there will be lots of Meme’s, blogs, Instagram posts about how Valentine’s Day is going to be a hard one for some of us, and maybe it will be, but does it have to?  I mean, it’s Thursday.  Can’t we just think about it as another Thursday?

I was watching a video the other night on the @CoffeeBreakWithDani YouTube channel and her family is from Mexico, she lives in Dallas now, but she speaks that beautiful spanish that sounds like singing and she does makeup, is a dog lover and is a single mother dating, and she loves In-N-Out Burger and cooking so of course I adore her.  I digress, as per usual…she explained that in Mexico Valentine’s Day is El Dia del Amor y la Amistad (The Day of Love and Friendship) rather than a romantic holiday like we’ve made it here in the US.  I like that idea.  She said her mother would make them a special breakfast every Valentine’s Day and would give them a little gift or a card and would ask if she could be the kids’ Valentine and then sent them off to school.  What a fantastic idea, right?

I was reading my blog post from last year on Valentine’s Day and I was sad.  It was also Fat Tuesday- the beginning of Marti Gras and I was headed out to drink beer and eat fried alligator with my single friends downtown at a live concert.  I was also ashamed to admit that I was lonely.  To me, loneliness was like I was admitting failure.  What the actual fluff was that about?  Loneliness is not failure.  I just hadn’t figured out how great it was to be single yet.  I hadn’t figured out yet that I was just fine – no, better than fine on my own.  I would soon discover I loved being single.  I still do.

Valentine’s Day can be tough if you’re single and hurting.  Especially if you have friends and co-workers posting photos of flowers and gifts being delivered to their offices or even getting engaged and blasting their happiness all over social media.  Today might be a good day to stay off Social Media entirely, unless you keep it to Twitter or Tumblr where our realist, single, pot-stirring, angsty friends live.  Otherwise you’re just asking for posts with flowers, engagement rings, beautifully lit dinner dates and happy couples shoving that crap down your throats.  Thank you, Next.

Is anyone having a Non-Valentine’s Day dinner party or wine tasting?  How about a get together where you screen a non-romantic movie?  Or will you just stay home and order a pizza and drink a magnum size bottle of vino by yourself?  Whatever, you do you.  Just remember to not drink and text.  I’m sure there are studies out there that have statistics on how many regrettable text messages are sent to ex’s on Valentine’s Day.

Friends don’t let friends text ex’s.  Just saying.

I am still a firm believer that Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday that was created by greeting card companies, flower shops and candy manufacturers.  I think it’s dumb and that if you are in a relationship, you should be making that person feel like The One every day, not just some Thursday in the middle of February.

If you are in a relationship and are all ooey gooey on Valentine’s Day, that’s cool too.  I can’t promise that I won’t dramatically gag and strain something with my over-the-top eye roll though.  I just can’t help it.  Valentine’s Day is just another day in my book, whether I’m in a relationship or not.  Now will I turn down a sappy card and a box of chocolates?  No, of course not.  Who’s to say, however that I won’t go buy my own chocolates and some flowers for myself?  I can totally do that and I think it’s something I may start on a regular basis.  Buying flowers for myself just because I enjoy them.  Oh wait, I have cats that are assholes and will eat said flowers and knock them over.  Ok. Scratch that.  Chocolates however, might just be a new thing.  Chocolates and cookies.

And….I didn’t even touch on the after Valentine’s Day candy sales.  All the chocolate everywhere will be marked down so we can stock up.  I’ll met you in the candy aisle!

On a serious note, if you are sad, depressed, drunk and feeling like things are just too much, please reach out and call someone (someone not your ex).  Don’t be alone if you don’t have to be, and if no one has told you today, I love you and I’m really happy you’re in my life.  I’m happy you were born and I’m happy you are reading this blog because that means you are my people.  Don’t let a random Thursday in February that is a totally made up holiday dictate your happiness.  You are way better than that.

See you on the flip side Singles!


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