So technically these are limes in the photo, but it was a photo on my camera roll that seemed to fit.
Life man. Adulting, getting older. It all is a mixed bag of good, bad, indifferent, marginally suck-worthy and sometimes extra fabulous.
A couple of things happened yesterday. I saw a new chiropractor and he did some x-rays. Why my other chiropractor never did x-rays I never thought to ask, but I wish I had. We might have caught what’s going on much earlier, but I digress, as per usual. I had x-rays and a consultation and he told me two things.
I have bone spurs in my hip, and I also have osteoarthritis in that hip. The ball joint is also pretty flush against the hip socket so it’s basically bone against bone. He will be able to provide me with some relief from the pain, but ultimately I’m going to have to look at seeing an orthopedist and have a talk about hip replacement.
I’m 47, about to be 48 next month and I left the office feeling really, really old. I also left felt completely defeated. If the problem had been what I’d originally thought it was, I was hoping yoga and the right stretches, muscle conditioning and a few adjustments would correct it. Not so much with the type of wear and tear I’ve got in that hip joint.
I came home after the appointment, told my best friends a brief synopsis of what I’d learned and then shut my phone off. I did an hour-long yoga practice with my always reliable @YogaWithAdriene ……and cried. Cried at the thought of yet another surgery, cried at the thought of paying for yet another surgery and finally, crying over the thought of recovering from another surgery….alone.
One thing I have to give my ex husband credit for is the way he stepped up when I had cancer. He might have been a schmuck in a lot of areas but caring for me when I was convalesced wasn’t one of them. He of course, isn’t around anymore. I have friends, and I’m dating the wonderful Keanu, but I dislike asking for help from friends and Keanu lives and works in another town. My daughter is an adult and while I know she will help me in any way I need her to, she has a job too.
So I have some decisions to make. I have some phone calls to place and appointments to set up. I don’t know when the hip replacement will happen, it will depend on what financing I can plan and what a specialist tells me. I just know I want to live a life pain free, with fewer limitations and more mobility.
Chronic pain sucks and I don’t want to start pain medication because that would just be a shit show in itself. I have watched my dad have two knee replacements and he says he wishes he’d done it years ago. His quality of life is so much better and he doesn’t have the pain he did before. I know I will be so grateful when the surgery is over and I have full range of motion in that hip again. Imagine the yoga poses I can do when I can actually bend that joint again.
So there you have it. I had a goal this year for fixing this hip issue and living a life without pain and with more mobility. Funny how the Law of Attraction and Manifesting works out, huh? It isn’t the way I’d planned on fixing my body but when have plans ever worked out exactly the way we thought they were going to go? I know there is a bigger set of hands pulling the strings here and that I just need to trust that on the other end of this road is freedom from pain, movement and a fun and new adventure around every turn. I have birding trips to go on with my sister, I have adventures to explore with Keanu and I have way too many fun plans to make for the rest of my life. This damn joint is not going to get in my way.
Now where is that tequila?
One last thing – can you believe this is my 100th published post on Single & Selfish? 100 long winded, over sharing, TMI posts later and y’all are still here! Thank you for reading! Thank you for messaging me! Thank you for caring about my weird little single life. Love you guys.