lifestyle

The Judge

I see you. Yeah, you. You keep coming back to my blog to see if I’ve written a post about The Judge. You want the deets, the skinny, the low down on this new relationship I’ve begun.

Y’all, it’s….in a word….delicious. Utterly decadent and in every way beautiful.

So imagine if you will, little old me, scanning the dating apps, going on dates with people, having lots of dinners and first dates, a few second dates, not many kisses at all and no front runners coming to the fore that stand out as contenders for keepers. It was all getting rather discouraging. I wasn’t finding the spark.

On a whim I started an account on the dating app for mature kids called “Our Time” and within a few weeks up pops this profile for a Silver Fox with bright blue eyes and a kind, handsome face. His name wasn’t revealed, just a code name that hinted to his interests in bats and birds. Yes, you read that right. He’s a birder too.

I liked his profile and sent the first message. He responded and we struck up a conversation. We quickly discovered we knew each other in real life. We work in the same circles and our careers overlap a good bit so when we exchanged phone numbers and he texted me it was no surprise that I already had his number in my phone contacts.

We met for lunch.

Then we met for dinner.

Then we met for another dinner.

Then he invited me on a trip he had scheduled for later this spring and I said yes. And viola, we were a couple.

The Judge is caring, kind, thoughtful, responsible, passionate, honest, curious, delightfully funny, we know many of the same people as our professional worlds have overlapped often and so I have plenty of people to ask who have known him for thirty years or more. So far I’ve yet to find a single person who has a negative thing to say about him.

We have both had long term marriages fail, we’ve both been hurt badly. We’ve both had our hearts broken. We’ve both struggled to trust another human being because of our pasts. We’ve both not given up on believing there is a person out there for one another. We both haven’t given up on a second chance in love.

In a word, we are putting all of our collective cards on the table. He knows about the year of sex, he knows about my marriage and was even familiar with what my ex husband had done. We have shared intimate details of our lives, our dating histories, our not so proud moments in this stumbling baby zebra trip that is being single after 40.

Growing to care for someone that is so like me, so similar in views, thoughts, integrity, trust worthiness and eagerness to give it one more shot and make a run for the goal line together is a beautiful thing. We are both amazed at how low maintenance this new found romance is. We both have, on numerous occasions looked one another with happy tears in our eyes and asked the same thing, “how is this even possible?” How did we work and live so close to each other for over a dozen years and not see the spark in the others eye? How is it possible that this magical connection could be so nearby and so easy to plant and it simply sprouted with seemingly little help? How is it possible that this already feels so natural and normal and we fell in sync so quickly?

How is this not scaring the holy hell out of me? It all feels like the final arch in a beautiful romantic comedy where you’re really rooting for the Underdog and they finally find that happiness they so deserve at the end and you walk out of the theater inspired and so glad the movie had a happy ending. That is exactly what this feels like.

So there you have it. There is the update, the deets on how we met and what this all really feels like. I’m happy. I’m excited. I’m falling in love and I see a future with this man.

It’s good, y’all. Really good.

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